La Déesse et le Dragon
by whimsyWonder
Summary: A revengeful Draco Malfoy plans the ultimate prank on an unsuspecting yet tricky Hermione Granger. But since when do things go exactly the way they're supposed to? Read and Review.
1. Brewing a Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is not legally allowed to be called mine. Obviously.

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_La Déesse et le Dragon_

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The Spectacular, Awesome, Deliriously Wonderful Beginning.

A/N: **In my excitement and haste to get the story up and going, I was very careless. This first chapter was pretty sub par so I edited and added some parts.**

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It wasn't very often when one could stumble upon Draco Malfoy hunched over a large stack of books and ledgers, eyebrows wrinkling and muttering quiet murmurs. Draco Malfoy was up to something indeed, and at that very moment, he was very happy indeed.

The reason for his odd, uncharacteristic behavior was once again the offending Hermione Granger. She had dispassionately announced in front of the entire potions class one of Draco's most guarded secrets. After a long hour of brewing Vérité _de la Vierge, _a potion that could efficiently determine whether the taker was a virgin or not, the aftermath was not what Draco had imagined.

For all the trouble he had endured by being paired with the 'frizzy-haired bitch,' Draco had expected some sort of a reward, preferably something along the lines of exposing Granger's virginity, and therefore causing a big hassle for the mudblood while everyone jeered and taunted her.

The scowling blonde had not, however, imagined that Hermione Granger would turn the tables on _him, _exposing _his _virginity and taking such flourish in doing so. "Little dragon isn't such a sex god, now is he?" She had leered at him, "now Draco, dearest, is there some thing you would like to share with us? Are you _impotent_?" Hermione had been in her element. "It's quite alright, I understand. But I'm not quite sure as to what the other girls are thinking. Malfoy, it is _such _a disappointment that you had to let them down. _Quite_ a pity."

Since when had the stupid witch developed such a sardonic, cynical, taunting personality? She had finally grown a backbone, Draco supposed. The witch hadn't even flinched as Snape had gleefully dished out two weeks of detention.

At any rate, Draco did not appreciate being downgraded, especially not by Hermione Granger. Draco was a pureblood brought up in the strictest of households. There was no way he could actually be Slytherin's man-whore like everyone presumed him to be.

To top it off, he had high standards. Draco would never give up anything of his to just any simpering girl. Also, whoever he did give up his virginity to would have to give him hers as well, because Draco Malfoy rarely gave, and when he did, he wanted something equally precious in return.

Technically, Draco was good in bed. He could have any girl down on her knees, trembling, begging him to take her. Yet he never would. He wouldn't let down these beautiful girls of course. He would make sure they got themselves a mind-boggling experience; he would just do it by every means except the standard way.

That had been the case with Draco's latest rendezvous, just the week before with a certain Lavender Brown. The gossip queen had approached him, smelling strongly of an overwhelming peach perfume— Draco hated peaches— batting her eyelashes and leaning over to expose a great deal of cleavage.

"Draco, I was thinking, and I've just realized that I wanted someone _special _to take my virginity. Ever since third year I've been fantasizing about you. Do you think… would you…" Lavender had inquired in a tone that was quite obvious that she knew she was going to get what she wanted tonight.

Draco, who had been mesmerized the second her full breasts had peeked into view, raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Why Lavender, your _virginity_? I'm honored." He said sarcastically. "But sorry, not tonight."

Lavender didn't give up, which was just what Draco had intended. "You know… most men would beg for this opportunity." She said.

"Am I really classified as 'most men'?" Draco said coldly. "If I was to sleep with you, I would be doing you a favor."

The scantily clad Gryffindor gaped in shock. "But I… please?" She gave one last try.

Inwardly, Draco chuckled. "As you wish. But afterwards, I expect you to say thank you." Having said those words, he had led the eager Lavender to his chambers.

In truth, Draco was being used by all the girls who came to him for a good shag. It was just by his trickery and his talent for twisting situations around that no one would ever suspect it.

After he had 'artfully' pushed Lavender over the edge, giving her a most pleasurable experience, Draco immediately stepped out of bed to wash his hands and rinse his mouth.

"Won't you cuddle for a while?" Lavender said, huskily.

"Why would I cuddle?" He rebuked, muttering a quick _scourgify _for the sheets. "Out."

Lavender had shuffled from his chambers, clutching her clothing and crying slightly.

Oh yes, Draco was very skilled at turning the tables around. Anyone who asked Lavender about her night would easily assume that she was the one who had been used.

Now, after all of Draco's hard work to ensure his reputation, Hermione had gone and ruined it in just five measly minutes.

In any case, there was one thing that he was certain of. Hermione Granger was going down.

Chuckling, he read over the neatly scripted words on the yellowish pages of his book. '_Désir.' _It was a complex potion with a simple name, meaning 'lust'. Oh yes, the mudblood was going to pay for what she had done, and Draco would make sure of it.

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A/N: Likee? I'll update soon. **Review** _mes amis_!


	2. The Potion

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is not legally allowed to be called mine. Obviously.

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_La Déesse et le Dragon_

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Chapter Two

A/N: **Yay yay, second chapter up. Not very interesting, but things will start to get rolling as of next chapter.**

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After a few months of harboring a strong desire for revenge, Draco Malfoy had successfully brewed _Désir, _but not without a fair share of trouble at his expense.

His first batch had gone horribly awry when overcome by drowsiness in the wee hours in the morning, he had dozed off and slumped into the potion. At stage two, the concoction was rather unstable, and when his human flesh had come into contact with the substance, there was a rather interesting chemical reaction.

Draco had walked through the halls for two weeks sporting angry yellow puss bubbles all over his face. Unable to bring himself to Madame Pomfrey for fear of his late night potion brewing activities to be discovered, Draco had endured many long hours of curious stares, sniggers, and gleeful taunts of the ecstatic Gryffindors.

The blonde Slytherin kept his bitterness at bay, finding solace only in the one thought that Hermione Granger would get what she deserved once he had overcome this terrible ordeal. With barely contained impatience, he set back to work on a second batch of _Désir._

Draco met another roadblock some nights after reaching stage four of the brewing process. Unexpectedly, Millicent Bulstrode stumbled into the prefect's bathroom one evening, where he had set up camp, most obviously drunk and hiccupping hysterically.

"Draaaco Waaaco! Oh, I'm such a terrible mess." She had sobbed, a fair amount of saliva and snot making an unattractive splotch on her robes. "NO ONE WILL SLEEP WITH ME!" She wailed.

It was at this moment that Draco had felt a shiver run up his spine and his hairs stand on end at this completely disturbing confession.

"Draco, being the wonderful friend that you are… do you think you could, perhaps, help me?" Millicent's demeanor shifted entirely. She wiped off her snot covered face hastily, fluttered her eyelids, and put on what she obviously thought was a seductive gaze. "Oh, Draco, I want you to do unspeakable things to me." She purred.

Draco's face had contorted into a pained grimace. "Millicent, I do think that Blaise would be a more suitable… lay for you. He has been raving about you lately during lunch, have you heard?" He paused to swallow some bile that had crept up his throat when Millicent began to undo her blouse. "Really, I do think Blaise would be more than happy to make you feel a little better. Those Italians, they really know how to work their fingers, you know." Draco said, feeling slightly desperate.

"But baby, I want _you._" Millicent had said huskily, before walking towards him, her hips swaying as much as they possibly could.

Draco, in his hurried attempt to escape, had rushed straight into the boiling cauldron of _Désir, _not only causing some painful burns up his side, but knocking it over and spilling nine liters of potion all over the bathroom floor.

In this same instant, Millicent, completely drugged with alcohol and very much lust-crazed, made a mad dash for the delectable blonde. The two Slytherins collided and took a nice, big dip in the puddle of potion. This resulted in an entirely different chemical reaction as before.

For the next month, both Draco and Millicent were seen sporting olive-colored skin, speckled with patches of green hair resembling bread mold. They were also rumored to be passing much ill-smelling gas at random times during the day. Naturally, the students of Hogwarts were baffled, and a good population, mainly Gryffindors, were surprised and delighted.

The two unhappy Slytherins refused to say anything, or in Millicent's case, divulge in what was left of her memory, which wasn't very coherent. Everyone was left to their own imaginations to guess what on earth had happened.

One morning, while Draco was busy lurking in a remote corridor, tying to get to class without being stared and laughed at, he encountered Hermione. Glaring spitefully at the witch who had single-handedly gotten him into this big mess, he muttered a slew of curse words and knocked her books from her arms as they passed. Hermione, who was having a bit of a rough morning, would take none of it.

"You slimy bastard." She spat at him, while gathering up her books.

"Mudblood." He retorted. "And you stay there on the floor where you belong."

"What's wrong, is your face deformation getting to you? Don't be surprised. I'm sure that's exactly what your heart looks like. I'd be happy to carve it out for you as proof." Hermione told him.

"I'll kill you someday, Granger." Draco spat, advancing towards her and trapping her up against the wall with his arms. "You and your little boyfriends, Potter and Weasel."

"I'm so scared now, Malfoy. Do you see me trembling?" Hermione said scornfully, hiding the flicker of fear that had just flashed through her.

"You will be when I'm through with you." Draco said darkly, his lips curled into a sneer and his eyes burned into hers. "You'll see."

Hermione Granger, who had giggled along with the rest of the Gryffindors over Draco's first accident, didn't find this one quite so amusing. What was going on was a little weird, and Hermione didn't like not knowing what in the world was happening. Malfoy was up to something, that much she was certain of. She stored this information into the back of her head and made a vow to keep her eye on the threatening Slytherin.

Now, after four exhausting months, Draco's third potion had been the charm. While the rest of Hogwarts was in Hogsmead for the weekend, Draco watched his bubbling potion, sat back and relaxed for the very first time in a long while. Revenge was going to be sweet.

Little did he know that things weren't going to be nearly how he had planned them to be.

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A/N: Next chapter will be posted sometime next week. Summer school is starting for us course credit eating nerd freaks (blegh) but I'll find a way to get it up. **Review please!**


	3. Midnight Happenings

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is not legally allowed to be called mine. Obviously.

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_La Déesse et le Dragon_

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Chapter Three

A/N: **So I made this chapter a little longer, and the plot really gets going here. You could say this is the official beginning, as most other fics with similar plots start where the initial evil plan goes awfully awry. wink**

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Draco Malfoy had a sense of humor. Sadly, however, the majority of his mirth-making talent was squelched under the boot of 'Malfoy-Pureblooded-ism', and took quite some coaxing to reveal at most instances. Not many, (except for the small amount of his bumbling followers), credited or appreciated this trait of Draco's either, for it was mostly cynical, condescending, even sadistic humor he exuded, but it was humor none-the-less.

At his moment, Draco was envisioning the outcome of his great revenge. The taker had only the one responsibility of drinking a sip, and he or she would become overwhelmingly enamored with the first living thing that came into view.

The 'first living thing' was by no means limited to just human beings, either, and that was why, with it's inconsistent, erratic, and sometimes unwanted results, _Désir_ was one of the less chosen lust potions.

Not surprisingly, _Désir_'s instability was exactly the reason why Draco had chosen the potion. All he had to do was slip just one drop of the liquid into the cup of pumpkin juice Hermione kept on her bedside table, information he had derived from a certain reliable yet oblivious source (Parvati Patil), and _voilà, _his job was done. Hermione would take a sip from the cup sooner or later, and most likely, her eyes would fall upon one of her roommates first.

The aftermath could then be fantasized, which Draco did often, in any which way. His current favorite was the prospect that Hermione, after taking a sip from the cup the next morning, would be overcome with lust by the time first period Potions rolled around.

He could just see it. Prim, proper, and prude Hermione Granger leaping upon and trying to ravish an unsuspecting Parvati Patil or Lavender Brown while Harry and Ron, completely turned on by their mudblood whore, sat jerking themselves off in a corner. The whole class would have a laugh and Snape, dear Snape, would have a field day.

Other possibilities were fully explored as well. For instance, if that grotesque cat of hers just happened to meander by at the right moment…

At that thought, Draco gave a genuine chuckle, which was quite impressive given the fact that Malfoy's rarely ever showed true happiness over subjects that weren't classified as purely evil.

In any case, little bookworm Hermione's image would be forever shattered, along with her pride, just as the revengeful blonde's had been.

Draco's big move was set for tonight. At exactly midnight, two hours after curfew, he would sneak into the Gryffindor tower and do the deed. From there, he could kick back, relax, and enjoy the show.

Taking a quick glance at his watch, he noted that it was already a quarter to twelve. Smirking, he grabbed a vial of _Désir_, cast a disillusion charm on himself, and set off to ruin the life of a certain Gryffindor.

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Safe and warm in her dormitory, said Gryffindor sat cross-legged on her bed, sipped on her glass of pumpkin juice and turned to the last page of a particularly riveting documentary on the evolution of Cornish pixies. Sighing happily as she finished the last paragraph, she swung her legs out of bed to go brush her teeth.

"The weirdest thing happened today," Parvati Patil said.

"Oh? Whass tha'?" Hermione asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Draco Malfoy cornered me after Charms, and he—" Parvati was interrupted.

"Oh, Draco? Was he asking about me?" Lavender, who had previously been deeply absorbed in her pedicure, perked up in interest.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, no, actually. He asked about Hermione," Parvati said, obviously just as miffed about this as Lavender was, who's gaze turned on the bushy-haired brunette almost predatorily.

Hermione's eyes stopped in mid-roll and she raised her eyebrows. "Me? What the heck did he want to know about me?"

"It was a little odd— he wanted to know if you drank anything before going to bed." Parvati revealed.

"Huh." Hermione's forehead wrinkled, feeling a wave of suspicion rise over her.

"And I told him that you kept that glass of pumpkin juice by your table." Parvati continued.

"Huh," Hermione said again. "Why did you tell him that?"

"Well, uh, you know how it is. It's Draco Malfoy, can't really— you know…"

"Yes I know. He looks at you with that deep silver-eyed look and you melt and do whatever the hell he wants you to do. Yes. I completely understand that feeling." Hermione snapped, feeling just a little betrayed and also wary.

"I'm sorry Hermione, but it was such an unexpected, petty question. I didn't think it meant anything." Parvati looked sincerely apologetic. "He told me not to say a word to you about it, but I felt like something was off… so, you know. I'm letting you know."

"It's alright. And you're right, there is something weird going on." Hermione shook her head slightly, and sat down on her bed. "There's my proof that he's up to something," She muttered, before switching off her lights. "And I'm not touching that pumpkin juice anytime soon."

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Draco's little hallway adventure was making him positively gleeful. Professor Flitwick, waddling down the halls and hugging a large stack of books, had almost keeled over in shock when something…or rather someone had pushed over his mound of books and stolen his hat with one swipe.

Filch was now partially bald due to the large tuft of graying hair that had been snipped off by a small pair of scissors Draco charmed. Mrs. Norris hadn't escaped unscathed, of course. She was given a hard kick to the gut, and was now laying supine on a cushioned bed in the hospital wing, something Filched had urgently insisted. This situation wasn't making Madame Pomfrey happy at all either, as she muttered something about 'putrid cat hairs' being shed all over.

When Draco was suffering from cases of severe insomnia, he would usually open a window in his dorm and take a fly on his broom around the castle. He quickly decided that roaming inside the school after hours was just as entertaining, especially while being invisible. The disillusion charm that Flitwick had beaten into their heads back in 4th year was certainly useful.

The prospect of his potion finally being put into use and all the little tricks he had pulled was giving Draco a pleasant rush. He was definitely _not _giddy, because 6th year pureblood Slytherins were never ever associated with that term. But at the moment, Draco Malfoy was _almost _giddy.

After climbing up the last flight of stairs and turning the last corridor, Draco found himself face to face with a portrait of an impossibly large woman.

"Kneezle fur." He said. Thank you again, Parvati.

"Who is it?" The woman yawned and glanced around. "Oh, is that you, Mr. Potter, again?"

"Er, yes." Draco responded.

"You and your invisibility cloak. Be glad that I haven't informed a professor of your nightly escapes yet." She said disapprovingly, as the portrait swung open.

'Potter has an invisibility cloak? Lucky bastard.' Draco thought, as he stepped in. 'Well if I had to see this room on a daily basis, I'd go jump out of a window.' He wrinkled his nose at the blaring red and gold colors. 'And the little piss-heads need night-lights in their common room,' he noted, amused at the several lamps still flickering on.

Not to be side-tracked, although the temptation to sneak into the boys dormitories and shrink a couple… certain things, he turned to the flight of stairs leading up to the girls' dormitories. "And _voilà_," He murmured, drawing a minuscule broom from his robes. "_Engorgio."_

Very adept at sneaking into girls' dormitories without being hit by the 'no boys' ward around each, Draco flew up the stairs and creaked open the door.

Silently, he crept past Lavender and Parvati's beds, and bloody hell, Lavender could _snore_. Reaching Hermione's bed next to the window, he saw the glass of pumpkin juice sitting just as Parvati had said. He grabbed the precious vial tucked into his robes and uncorked it. "Sorry mudblood, I win." He whispered, and tipped the potion. A single drop fell from the tip, and

Suddenly, a loud pop came from the inside the cup, followed by billows of strange red vapor. Hermione opened her eyes and sat up, very much alert and expectant. "No, you _lose_." She said, as she looked around frantically, trying to see the unwelcome intruder.

Parvati and Lavender sat up, looking groggy and confused.

"Draco Malfoy I know you're in here." Hermione called out. "And whatever you're pulling, it's not going to work, so I suggest you reveal yourself before I throw this cup in your face." She held the glass of pumpkin juice up threateningly. "And I also know that you're in that corner over there, because I can hear you breathing."

Draco tried to shuffle towards the door.

"Stupid ferret," Hermione said, before splashing the entire contents of the cup smack-dab in the middle of his face.

"Fuck." He muttered, before making a mad dash out the door.

Hermione stood there breathing heavily for a good ten seconds before Lavender spoke up.

"Draco Malfoy was just in here?" She murmured.

"No, that was Jesus," Hermione replied, sarcastically.

Parvati stared at the empty cup in Hermione's hand. "That was really smart of you, the spell you did." She said. "Whatever Malfoy was trying to drug you with is probably all over him."

"I sure hope so. The sodding prick. He actually thought he could get away with that little trick of his." Hermione muttered.

All three girls went back to bed, but all night, only two could find even a wink of sleep.

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'What. The. _Flying_. FUCK.' Draco Malfoy felt like killing himself, as he laid face-down on his bed, his head buried deep into his pillow. Perhaps if he burrowed a little deeper, he might just smother himself, and put an end to his state of great turmoil.

"I'm in deep shit." He muttered furiously, and he was very right about that. In one sudden motion, he slammed his fist into the wall. It formed a hole as big as the one he wished was smashed in the middle of Hermione Granger's face.

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A/N: Alrighty then, that sets the ball rolling. Please **review** for the sake my unmotivated self! Thankee very much.


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